Intentional Parenting

A while ago, I read a blog that mentioned "intentional parenting".  This wasn't the topic of the blog, and I honestly can't remember what the blog was about or who wrote it.  But the phrase "intentional parenting" resonated with me.

The definition of intentional is done on purpose; deliberate. I've been doing some sole searching and asking myself what it means to be more intentional in my parenting... Unfortunately, I've come to the realization that I fall very short.  With Quinn gone 2/3 of the time, I often struggle to see to it that the kids' basic needs are met.  I get the kids to school, I go to work (or go back home and work), come home and go through the evening routine robotically just counting down the hours and minutes until bedtime.  I fulfill my duties of caretaker - but do I make a deliberate attempt at parenting them?  Unfortunately, the answer is no.  As the kids get older, I realize that along with the freedom of them entertaining themselves there's also more opportunity to miss out on those small moments to connect with them.

Being intentional to me means sitting down at the Lego table with Alex and let him show me piece by piece how he made his latest creation.  It means closing the laptop and listening to a 30 minute play-by-play of a 10 minute dodgeball game Elijah played in P.E.- because if it's important enough for a 12 year boy old to talk about for 30 minutes, then I need to make sure it's important to me.  This also means putting down my book or my iPad and actually watching Frozen with Emma for the four thousandth time- because being able to sing the songs with her and quote every line means something to her.

When I get bored of their stories, their questions and their interests, I need to remind myself that this is big stuff to them.  I may be weighed down with a million other things that are so much bigger (according to the world) than their stuff, but it's big to them.  I'll admit that more often than not, I fall short of being intentional.  I go through the motions and at the end of the day realize I did what I had to do to survive and I wasn't deliberate about connecting with them.  It's then that I pray for grace and strength and strive to do better tomorrow.  Thankfully, those four little blessings of mine are full of grace and give me an unlimited amount of chances to do better!