The Never-Ending Relay

Some people ask if Quinn and I are in a constant power struggle because half of the time I am in charge and when he's home he would want to be in charge. This has never really been a huge issue with us. It's surprising, because I have been known to be a bit of a control freak! As life gets busier and the kids get bigger with bigger problems to solve, I find it easier and easier to hand over the baton - sometimes I throw it at him and run for the hills!

When I think of how it works, I picture a relay race. A relay race is won by the team, not one person. One person can't have complete control because they have to hand the baton over and trust the next person to do their part. They can cheer, coach and encourage their teammate but they can't be the one to run all of the time.

Quinn and I are a two-man relay team. Since this relay is never ending, I would be exhausted if I tried to run the whole thing by myself. When Quinn walks in the door after 10 days of running by myself, I am more than happy to pass him the baton. Passing the baton in our situation means I'm not the only disciplinarian, chef, housekeeper, book-reader, bath-giver, etc. When Quinn has the baton, I can catch my breath. I can be the nice guy and the one thay gets to play with the kids while Quinn cooks dinner. It means I can go to the grocery store all by myself! (It's the little things!)

Unlike an actual relay race where each runner runs the exact same distance, our relay will always be a bit lopsided. When Quinn is home, I get a chance to rest and catch my breath, but I still find myself jogging alongside him. When he passes the baton back to me, he removes himself from the track. And although he still cheers and coaches from the phone, it's not quite the same as having him on the sidelines of the track cheering me on. And when Quinn has the baton, I feel like he is so much more graceful than I am- taking long strides and never running out of breath. When I am doing all of the running, I picture my arms flailing everywhere, tripping over my own feet, gasping and just trying to stay upright! No, it's just not fair!!

All of this passing of the baton takes a lot of mental preparation on both sides. On his way home, I know that Quinn is decompressing from his work week and trying to switch from First Officer Quinn to Daddy. As he is coming home, I am struggling to hold on to the baton and my last bit of sanity! When it's time for me to take the baton back, I mentally prepare by doing a lot of praying. I pray that I will be able to have a good attitude as I help him get ready to leave. I pray that I have a good attitude with the kids and make the most of the week without Daddy. And to be honest, I mostly pray that all the kids make it through alive! I hydrate myself with quiet time and time with friends. And as I lace up my shoes and start stretching, I always think to myself "Wow, that was a short rest time!"

It's not conventional or even understandable to most people, but it is what it is and we make it work the best way we know how. I know that by figuring out how to run as a team, we are ultimately stronger. And I look forward to the day that we can both jog hand in hand and enjoy all of it together!