Refocusing...

It has only been a few years since I posted on this blog (ok, almost 3!). Yes, I realize how pitiful that is, but I guess between having babies, raising four kids as a part-time single mom, trying to keep up with the house (not easy with the aforementioned 4 children)I guess the blog became way low on the priority list!

I've been processing a lot of things about being an "Airline Family" over the last few months and really wanted to start journaling my thought process on the ups and downs (pun intended!)of our life. I started this blog three years ago as an attempt to capture precious memories of our children's lives because I know how fast their childhoods will fly by. Although, I'm certain that I will still insert many memories into this blog about our children, I would like to switch the focus of the blog to a more personal reflection of what it's really like to be married to a pilot. It really is a lifestyle that you can't understand unless you live it. It's a roller coaster for the whole family...sometimes it just plain sucks, and other times it's awesome and I can't imagine any other life being better than ours.

After almost 13 years of being married to a pilot and over 10 years of being a part-time single mom, I feel I am no closer to figuring out how to manage being a pilot family as I was in the beginning. Having Quinn home less than half of the time has always been our normal but I am still surprised at myself some days that I still don't have this lifestyle figured out. Sure, there are days when it seems easy and I feel like SuperMom for having it together and not having a complete meltdown. But more often I wake up in an empty bed and pray that God allows all of us to just survive the day.- I seem to have misplaced my SuperMom cape!

Although my mantra as always been "if you can't change your circumstances, you CAN change your attitude" - I don't always live by this and struggle with my attitude most days when Quinn is gone. I try to keep my whining to a minimum and when I can't hold it, I try to only whine to a few select people (lucky them!). I am beyond blessed with friends that listen to my whining and love me in spite of it! I try really hard not to whine to Quinn (not always succeeding) because I have learned over the years that a key component in making this work is to make him want to come home to me... Who would want to come home to someone who has whined and complained in every phone call over the past week?

I will probably never have this lifestyle completely figured out, I have learned a few very important things over the last 13 years...

* There is no doubt that communication is one of the most essential parts of making this crazy life work, but what's even more important is learning WHEN to communicate. I have learned that Quinn does NOT need to be called the instant one of our darling children start to throw a fit or puke all over the entire hallway at 3 in the morning. Because when I do call, I will only be disappointed and filled with resentment and anger by his "I'm 3000 miles away, what do you expect me to do about it" attitude. In the heat of the tantrum or the vomit or whatever, I always misinterpret this attitude for a complete disregard to my misery and that he doesn't care because he's not here (standing over a puddle of puke at three in the morning can make me a bit dramatic!). So as important as communication is in our marriage, I have learned that calling him for the sole purpose of sharing my misery with him, expecting him to fix the situation from the other side of the world only ends in disappointment on my side and a complete feeling of crap for him because he's not here. It's much more effective to call him after said tantrum, vomit, whatever is taken care of and maybe even laugh with him about my few minutes of complete chaos!

I must sign off for today, because those aforementioned children are under the impression that I should feed them 3 times a day! Geesh! Can't a girl ever get a break?!