The Ups and Downs...

Tonight at dinner the kids were talking about how much they missed Daddy and how they wished he had a different job.  It is actually rare that they talk like this... Sure, they ask when he's getting home and talk about what they are going to do when he is home - all indications that they miss him -but for them to actually be sad and say the words "I miss Daddy" is rare.

When they started saying that they wished he had a different job, I resisted the urge to join them in their self-pity and tried to reverse the mood.  We began to discuss some of the ups and downs of Daddy's job...

The Downs:

• Daddy's not here every night to tuck us in
• Sometimes Daddy misses fun/important things
• When Daddy's gone Mom has to do all the work herself.  (I didn't think they noticed!)

The Ups:

• When Daddy is home, he gets a whole 7-10 days to spend with us... If he had a "normal" job, he would work every day and be tired in the evenings when he came home.
• Daddy has a job that he absolutely loves.
• We get to tour hotels across the world via FaceTime.
• Daddy brings us cool stuff from lots of different countries.
• We would never know that Germany has really good chocolate!
• We would have never gotten to fly (twice) on an empty 767 with our very own flight attendants.
• We wouldn't get to celebrate Christmas in hotels. (Huge sigh of relief from this momma that this was on the "up" side!)
• Daddy wouldn't have time to build things like cannons and catapults with us.

I can't explain the relief I felt knowing that they really aren't as messed up as I feared... They see the bright side of Daddy being a pilot (probably more than I do at times).  I definitely can't take credit for any of their positive attitudes because most of the time I feel like all I can do is ramble off a list of "Downs".

It's more than challenging for me to maintain a positive attitude and not be grouchy and irritable when Quinn is gone.  In the midst of feeling like I am going to explode if someone asks another question, makes another demand or simply says "Mommy" - finding the bright side is near impossible.  But then the Holy Spirit takes me by the shoulders, gives me a firm shake and says "Suck it up, Buttercup!"  -and I begin to realize that my life could definitely be worse.  Is it a perfect life? Of course not - whose is?   At times like this, I have to start reminding myself of the ups and downs of Quinn's job...

The Downs:

• When Quinn is gone, it's all on me... everything from poopy diapers to character-building discussions to taking the trash out (I really hate dealing with the trash!).
• Although I have always needed lots of alone time, I struggle with being lonely.
• We feel very insecure about the stability of his job (this is also an "Up", see below!)
• I don't get enough sleep when Quinn is gone.

 The Ups:

• Quinn and I are constantly forced to re-evaluate our marriage and figure how to make things better, how to be in-tune with each others needs and how to me more empathetic for the other persons circumstances.
• Absence really does make the heart grow fonder.
• We have learned how to take nearly free vacations with all of the airline/hotel points he accumulates!
• He is on vacation for an average of 14 days a month.
• We have a better understanding of quantity time vs quality time than most people we know.
• Because of the constant uncertainty of his job, we are forced to rely on our faith in God, our ultimate Provider.
• We have had to learn the arts of communication and compromise.
• We have learned how to creatively bridge the distance between our different worlds.

I would love to say that Quinn and I are just an amazing couple, and without the difficult lifestyle we are living in, we would still be as conscience about constantly working on our marriage - but I really don't think we would.  I think that if it were the "same old, same old" every day, we would become complacent and too comfortable.  When Quinn leaves for a trip, I have no choice but to fully rely on God to keep him safe in every way - and he also has to rely on God to keep the children and I safe.

Of course, sometimes it's not ideal and sometimes it just plain sucks.   But it is what it is and most of the time it's amazing!