Fifteen years ago today, these two crazy kids said "I will" in front of 350 of their closest friends and relatives.Marriage is one of those things that you can't really know what you're getting into until you're already in deep. When you say "I will love, honor and cherish you all the days of my life", it seems simple and easy, especially with that person you are so in love with...
After fifteen years, we've come to realize how much is behind those vows, those unspoken vows that only people in the "married club" know...
I will love you even when I don't like you
I will honor you even when you aren't worthy
I will cherish you more than my job, the kids, friends and family members
I will do this all the days of my life no matter what.
Quinn and I are blessed beyond measure to have a foundation of a very strong friendship. That friendship has seen us through a lot of hard times. We've learned so much in these past 15 years, but I think the most important thing is something we learned in our pre-wedding marriage counseling. Our youth leader married us and really made our counseling sessions personal. I remember being confused when they told us that the emotion of love might fade or fall away, but we are still commanded to actively love one another. It took us awhile to realize what they were talking about... the difference between emotional love and active love.
Active love is hard.
I've found that most of the time it has nothing to do with feelings, but about a promise. We promised to love each other... how do you do that when the warm and fuzzy feelings wear off?
Be patient. Be kind. Don't be envious. Don't be proud. Don't be rude. Don't be selfish. Don't be irritable. Rejoice with truth. Always protect. Always trust. Always hope. Always persevere.
Easy, right?!
Quinn and I always try to come back to this during those times in our marriage when we aren't feeling the love. More often than not, we find that when we act out or love, even when we aren't feeling it, those emotional feelings come back. If I'm being unlovable (I know, hard to imagine) and Quinn acts out his love by giving all of the kids a bath and putting them to bed (true romance), his selflessness and kindness bring all of those emotions back!
I'm so blessed to be married to someone who is so easy to love. He's absolutely the kindest, smartest, funniest person I know. I couldn't ask for a better father, husband or friend. Fifteen years seems like a long time, but in all reality, we are just getting started!
Happy Anniversary, Quinny!! Thanks for putting up with me and loving me even when I don't deserve it!!
